6.1.11-6.1.12.... 1 year later...

They say you will never forget where you were when something life altering happens. For my parents, it was things like the death of JFK. For their parents, it was things like the depression, albeit a bit longer than the death of a prominent American President. For me, it used to be 9/11. A freshman in college, in my dorm room, getting ready for my 9:20 history class (coincidence....). That was until June 1 of last year. Because now, I measure things BT and AT. Before tornado... after tornado... It wasn't that I was injured, and thankfully, (luckily?), the building I was in at the time remained standing, unharmed, probably by the grace of god if you know where we were located... I'm not saying this isn't something life altering for people in "tornado alley" who are more, dare I say, accustomed to this, because when it strikes, I KNOW it's life altering. But for a small town in Western Mass, life altering doesn't do it justice....

Tomorrow marks 1 year since the tornado. A lot has changed since then. You can see forever in my small hometown. Parts of it are reminiscent of being in the Midwest, where it's flat for miles. While there are still hills and valleys, the path through them is empty. From the top of the hill, you can see for what feels like forever. It's only a couple miles, but in a town like ours, where most people can barley see their neighbor's house because of the tree cover, a couple of miles feels like a lifetime.

This past year has passed quickly. There were SO many highs and lows to this year, that it's hard to believe it was all packed into 365 days. So much has changed for so many people and still, continues to grow and change. "the tornado" is a topic of conversation in our town any number of times on any given day. The impact on each individual life varies greatly. Some of us have a seemingly unnatural fear of an impending thunderstorm (me, for example) that I hope will continue to diminish as time passes... I know I will continue to be much more cautious, and at least for a while, scared. I'm ok with admitting that.

There are positive things that came from that day.... Strengthened relationships, new ones formed, and a bond that joins each of us who were impacted on that day....

Tomorrow, I will probably listen to my two saved voicemails from one year ago... One from boyfriend, concerned, just trying to find out if I was ok, and one from my dad, who was just down the street at the time of the storm. Running down to see him in the aftermath is something I'll never forget... He should have been driving home and probably directly into the storm...hugging him is a moment I will never forget.

We change constantly. June1, 2011 should have been a simple day. Instead, it is a day that forever changed my life.... In so many ways.

"How do you measure, measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, In cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife."

There are plenty of ways to measure this past year... Especially in our small town. We measure progress and growth and change. And tomorrow, we celebrate the passing of 365 days... One year later.

A Different Feel at Fenway

Last night, we went to see the sox play... Yes, again. It seems like we have been there a lot this season. It's really only been 3 times but it really does feel like more than that. Anyway I digress... A few weeks back, on a slightly rainy, chilly Friday night, boyfriend and I sat out in the bleachers, adorned with long sleeves AND sweatshirts, listening to what would be our final game with Carl Beane. A few days later, the greatest ballpark announcer (in my opinion) passed away in a single car crash on the mass pike. Last night, boyfriend and I were again at Fenway, this time in the grandstand behind home plate and much warmer. It was different. I mean, Fenway is the same. The game is the game... Some are clearly better than others... But it was different. It was a familiar voice (still not sure who) but it was different... It's weird because 5 years ago, boyfriend and I, before he was boyfriend, had our first date at Fenway (June 14, 2007). Coincidentally, that date falls on the same day it did as our first date. Unfortunately, due to our work schedules, we won't be able to go... But again, I'm off topic. Over the past 5 years we have been to a number of sox games, all of which Carl Beane was the announcer. It was definitely different last night, and from now on, there will be something just a little bit different at Fenway... But it will forever be the spot where boyfriend and I took our first photo together, shared our first beers and made our first memories...

Goodnight, Carl Beane....

Having been to Fenway only days ago, I feel lucky to have heard his voice twice already this season. The news is teeming with the talk of Carl Beane's passing...we are actually watching Comcast sports net as I type this and they are talking about him. "the voice of Fenway".... Boyfriend and i were just just reminiscing about fenway and how i will miss hearing my favorite name announced this season... Magglio Ordonez. No, not my favorite player, but one of my favorite things to hear at fenway every year.

You are a part of Fenway that will never be forgotten and I am lucky that I spent my first opening day listening to you...

You will be greatly missed by all of the fans of red sox nation....

Goodnight, Carl Beane... Thanks for the memories...

on top of the world

Last Sunday, after a particularly LONG week and equally long "weekend", puppy and I ventured to my parents house Sunday mid morning. We stopped off to drop off a coffee to a friend who was momentarily car-less and sick on top of that and after the dog pestered her small black cats for a bit, we headed to my parents. They have a new puppy- we lost our lab back in mid November and this new guy has been around since shortly after that... So the problem is that my dog and new puppy are not exactly fond of each other. No, that's not quite right... New puppy is very fond of my dog- fond of chasing him,stepping on him and trying to sniff parts of his body that should never be sniffed... That said, my dog is less than thrilled about any of this. We haven't had them around each other too much because of this but I decided to give it a whirl. Uh. Failure. So, our visit was short lived... Very short. With it still being only about 1130-1200, I felt like I needed to do something with my day and I wasn't feeling the gym. In large part due to the fact that I would have had to bring the dog home first then go back to the gym and I wasn't feeling it.... So instead, we went hiking..I hardly ever hike. Scratch that, this mountain is literally less than 2 miles from my arentsnhouse,where I lived for over 20 years, and I have probably been to the top a total of 3 times prior to sunday- if that. So I decided puppy and I were headed up.... Thankfully, I had his harness and leash (those harness things are awesome... Just saying).

While we were hiking, I was listening to some DMB radio on pandora and texting with bestie. While I don't mind that we took the long route,I'm not entirely sure the dog was too thrilled, but he survived. After what seemed like forever, we somehow made a giant circle and still hadn't managed to reach the top... I knew we had probably just walked past the point where you turn to head to the top but I was frustrated. I texted bestie something about not being able to find the top and how I wished she was with me because she would know where to go... Like a great friend and support, she texted back... "don't worry, you'll find it...but getting to the top isn't the most important part"... I smiled as I read it and when I looked up to figure out where we were, we had reached the path to the top... Her support helped me find it, even though it was just some simple encouragement.... While I would have preferred to have her here, I felt like I reached the top with her...

When we did get to the top, puppy and I sat down to take it all in... Ok, I sat. He sniffed around trying to lay claim on every tree branch in existence and I tried to keep him from going a little too far from the edge... It's amazing, to be up there, taller than the trees that you stood beneath only a short time ago... It makes you feel like up here, you could conquer the world. What really amazes me is that despite the mass destruction that ripped through my hometown almost one year ago (6.1.11), from up there, nothing has changed. And yes, I know it's because of the mountains location in relation to where the tornado hit, but when you are up that high, you expect to see everything as it is from the ground...but it just isn't like that. Up there, there is still preservation of the woods and the trees and from up there, everything looks ok...like its all going to be okay...

When you get to the top of this mountain, there is a little mailbox with a notebook in it. People write all kinds of random things in it... There is the ever popular "hiked thisnw the family" with the date and things of that nature... The random stuff that was probably penned by some high school kid about how there is nothing to do in this town blah blah... And some people write about the reasons they hiked the mountain in the first place... I think it's a bit therapeutic to sit and leaf through some of the things people wrote, so puppy and I went and snagged the notebooks (there were 2 this time) and a pen.... I began leafing through the smaller of the two when I came across the writings of my besties family and friends. They had hiked a few monts earlier in memory of her amazing dad and I began to read all the things they had written... When I looked up to contemplate the way this spot, on the top of a mountain, can be so many things to so many people, a butterfly flew down... It hovered for a few minutes and all I could do was smile. I knew what it meant and I couldn't help but feel like so much made sense...

I decided to write in the notebook, after all, is it fair to read the words of others without leaving your own to share? It was nothing much, just a few words about why I was up there at all, along with the date.... As I finished writing, I went to close the second notebook and happened upon a page long note. This note was actually from two people and I decided to read it... There was so much love and certainty contained in these messages, written to each other, on top of the mountain... In a time where we feel so much that nothing is certain, it is comforting to know that up there, on a giant slab of rock, overlooking the world below you, that certainty exists... That somewhere, in the craziness of life, at some point, everything will make sense...

"...it reminds me that no matter how small you feel today, this spot will make you feel on top of the world..." (unknown)

I can't wait to feel on top of the world again this week....

quote me on this....

I spend a lot of my "free" time (I use the term free loosely) reading blogs, searching pinterest for my next craft adventure or something new to whip up for boyfriend and reading quotes. Yes, reading quotes. If you know me, you know of my obsession with them. I am more than willing to admit that they are and object of my obsession. If I can find a way to work a quote into something, I will. Seriously... Sister's wedding programs; quote. facebook status; often a quote. Laying in bed because the hyper-caf (yeah I'm sure it isn't good for me) coffee that I sucked down is keeping me awake; quotes....
I have a little pink notebook that I carry around in my wallet so if the mood strikes and I find a quote I like, or need or simply know I'll want to incorporate into my life at some point, I can write it down. I have documents on my computer and my iPhone dedicated to these quotes. They range from quotes from movies and books to those of inspirational thinkers and those who for so long have wished to remain anonymous. No quote is too small or too long. I find them walking down the sidewalk and sometimes, quote myself. They make me nostalgic for things in the pass, and thoughtful about the things to come. As a teacher, I try to incorporate them into my classroom and instill my love of quotes to my students. I am a firm believer that the right words are always out there, but sometimes, it takes someone else to use them first.
In part, the almost daily rumblings sprung from my love of quotes. Quotes force you to think, sometimes about the things you swear you could do without. Sometimes, the link you to how you feel at an exact moment, in a certain space that you can't seem to correctly convey with other people. Sometimes, they are there just because- no hidden meaning or agenda- just something you felt like you wanted other people to be able to experience.
I have decided to make this part of my personal challenge. To provide readers with something new to think about and just to put out there some of my favorites. As with anything, there are those we fall back on, the ones we know are always the perfect fit. I will share those, as they apply to my day or the topic at hand as well as search out some new favorites.
I have a lot coming up in the next few months. Changes in my family (yay for new babies) and for my friends (babies and weddings and new homes, oh my!) and in my personal life (more on that later), and I feel like I'm going to be seeking out the perfect words more and more often.....

Life doesn't turn out as we expect it to. When we come out into this world, our future seems as smooth and unmarred as virgin snow. It is an illusion, of course, and soon we weave a web of mistakes and failures as much as achievements and triumphs, and become used to walking on broken pavements rather than on paths of gold. It is what makes life so interesting; one quickly learns that one never knows what is going to happen next. [ e. aston ]

memory lane

The other day I drove to a conference in Boston. The conference itself was fine as far as conferences go but it was my drive there the really got me to thinking. I was driving down 91, trying to make my way to 93 (unsuccessfully I might add-although that is another post entirely) and I kept hearing all these songs that were "it" back around my sophomore-senior years of high school, mixed in with a few that bring me back to college and so many ridiculous things. Anyway- what I got to thinking about was how strongly a song can bring you back to a memory. And I'm talking really specific. The Aerosmith song "I don't wanna miss a thing" came on whilst I was trying to merge into some lovely Boston traffic and it took me immediately back to my junior-ish yer of high school and watching that movie on the couch of my then boyfriends uncle's house. Other than the random newsfeed pop ups courtesy of Facebook, our social contact is limited and has been for quite some time. From what I gather, he seems quite happy and he most definitely deserves that, he was a great guy. Due to the fact that we dated ages ago and I harbor no feelings, hard or otherwise, for him, it was incredibly random to be brought back to that time of my life, especially to that specific of a time and place.

The more and more that I got to thinking about it, the more I realized just how much a song can aid in creating a memory. Or in not allowing you to forget the past. Because honestly, there are times when a certain song comes on the radio and you want noting more than to change the station, only to find the same song on another station. Karma? I'm not one of those people who spends the duration of my day listening to the radio or iTunes on repeat- in fact for me, most days I would rather listen to a tv show while I clean or put laundry away or otherwise... But once in a while, a song comes on that brings me back...sometimes it makes me laugh, sometimes cry and sometimes, just shake my head in disbelief of things that we thought were a good idea....

Weekend Rituals

Almost everyone I know has some kind of weekend ritual. Whether it consists of a plethora of household chores or 6-hours worth of errands to prep for the week, or even to spend the day catching up on a weeks worth of dvr'd shows that you were too busy to watch during the week, we all have some kind of ritual. Since the recent purchase of my iPad, my weekend ritual has changed slightly. Actually, now that i think about it, this ritual change started in California (shocker).

I am a coffee drinker, though not as addicted to coffee as some people that I associate with, but none the less, I have no problem hitting up the dunks drive through on any given morning. However, upon descending into LAX, I was met with the issue of there not being a dunks. Enter bestie and her daily coffee from 7-11 ritual. Thanks to bestie, I discovered a few things:

1. Coffee at 7-11 (or any such establishment) is cheap! (read: under $1.50 for a large coffee)
2. Your coffee is ALWAYS made to order, you don't ever have to send it back and there is no bitchy sales clerk who inadvertently gives you the next customer's order

Flash forward 6 days, back to MA and needing a coffee fix. Since skipping the dunks for a week, I made the decision to try the cumby's at the end of my street. Enter the $.99 coffee, made my way, every time. Enter new ritual.

There really was a point to this back story! Since the new adoption of the .99 coffee, and the new iPad, I have created quite the ritual for myself. Typically on Sunday's (that seems to be the only consistent day of rest in my little corner of the world) I get up when boyfriend gets up to get ready for work. Armed with $1.05 (there is tax on said coffee) I head up to cumby's in my sweats and make myself a coconut coffee (iced or hot, depending on the weather). I laught a little every time I make my coffee (black)because my grandmother once told me that if it isn't black coffee, it's not worth drinking. She heard it from her grandmother and I suppose I'll pass it on as well (thanks, meme're). So anyway... I go get my coffee, come back and snuggle up with coors puppy, either back in bed or on the couch. We spend the next hour or so catching up on blogs, looking for new recipies, perusing Pinterest and enjoying my perfectly made, money saving coffee. And, thanks to today's early morning ritual, I am armed with a new crock-pot recipie, have had my caffeine fix and have saved some money in the process.

It really is the perfect way to spend the early part of the morning.

What is your weekend ritual? How do you spend your much needed and deserved (few mintutes) of "me" time?

on a more serious note.... Addiction

While on vacation, bestie and I had some long talks about everything and nothing, some were really about nothing important or life changing and others were much more in depth and important. We got to talking about relationships, both good and bad and ultimately to talking about addictions- the transition from point a to point b is actually a much more direct route than one might expect. Ultimately, the how and why we got there are less important than some of the things that have since tuck in my mind about it. 

Everyone is an addict 
Long and short of it is that we are all addicts in our own right. The problem with something like addiction is that we are taught, often from a pretty young age, that addiction revolves around things that are illegal or ore wise bad for us. And in part, that is certainly true. Alcohol, marijuana, prescription drugs. These are some of the basic things we most often associate with addiction. And rightly so- these things are all around us and are in our world on an almost daily basis. And while not everyone is addicted to one of the aforementioned things, we are all addicts. Some are food addicts. Some are shopping addicts. Some get a thrill from shopping on e-bay or qvc and others from going into a store and dropping a boat load on shit they don't need. some people are addicted to keeping things and never throwing them away- yes, hoarding. Ultimately, we are all victim to an addiction. It is in our nature to have something we can't go a day without. It's not a far cry to say that as a society we have become addicted to social networking- it too is an addiction. We are addicted to cellular telephones, computers and the like. Like it or not, we are all addicts. 

It's not unusual for us to deny our addictions. 
True, some of these are part of a phase of our lives that may or may not stick with us, but most people deny them. I know far too many teenagers who firmly believe that they are not addicted to smoking pot. But ask them tongoma day without it, without thinking or talking or craving it- most cannot. They are addicted. And for many of these teenagers, it has taken over their lives to the capacity that they cannot see that they have in fact become the worst version of themselves. Addiction at its best. Claiming who we are capable of being and turning us into a variety of different things. Chameleons- destined to change with the people they hang out with on any given day. These people baffle me, in part because I find it hard to believe that you don't realize that you no longer have a true identity. Perhaps that is because I have never been in that situation before...

Addiction does not only affect the addict. 
Truth be told it is often the addict who is least affected. Addicts often do not see the error of their ways and if they do, don't often care, or give the impression that they don't care. The people around them- family members, co-workers, teammates- they are all directly affected by the addict. It may be small things such as dropping the ball on a work project leaving your co worker to cover your ass or it may be more intense, life altering things such as car accidents or worse. In no way are those in the life of an addict sparred because they aren't the one addicted. Life becomes consumed with worry about the addict, and for the addict. Often times family members find themselves trying to solve the problems of their loved one (said addict) often to no avail. It is often not until the metaphorical rug is ripped out from underneath us that others come to the realization that there is a problem. The metaphorical rug is often a small mishap, but unfortunately can be something much more life altering. 

I would like to say that I believe the first step is admitting you have a problem, and to some extent that is true. I think more importantly the first step is not a single step. It is not something that can stand on its own. It is a series of initial steps that ultimately lead to the recovery and hopefully the road to a better life.  I am in no way saying you have to believe me on this but I firmly believe that the first steps to getting better are this: 

Acknowledging that  you have an addiction and that this is an illness. 
Too often, we call it a problem but to me, a problem has a quick fix and should not continue to be a problem. A problem is a squeaky door. Hit it up with dorm WD40. Problem solved. Addiction is a much longer process and just because you are "clean" doesn't mean you don't still suffer from the effects of the addiction. 

Accepting help. 
I don't care who you R of what you are addicted to, everyone needs a support system. Do not shut these people out. Especially the ons holding your hand. Easier said than done but you will know who to weed out- those who promote addictive behaviors, those who do not accept you for the changes you are making to your life. Some will weed themselves out simply because they cannot stand to be around someone who isn't sharing in their addiction. Wave goodbye and don't look back. 

Taking it all one day at a time. 
We all know "Rome wasn't build in a day". Neither is fighting addiction. You can't do it alone and you certainly can't flip a switch. Commit to it. With the right attitude and supports in place, anything is possible.

Write it down.
Your triggers. Your thoughts. Your feelings. Your moments you want to scream at the world. Down the road, when you have a day where you feel like all hope is lost, you will have these bad days to look back on and to help you realize how far  you have come. 

We are all addicted to something, some of us to many things, some of us more than others. It's what we choose to do with it that makes or  breaks us down....

Coming Home (a few weeks removed)

What a long short few days. It's crazy how being away can seem like you were there forever but when you really stop to think about it, you were barely  there at all.  Overall, in only a few short days, I managed to learn a few things about LA and about myself in general.

1.  You have not experienced traffic until you have been to LA.
I mean this. I have been to Boston at rush hour during a home sox game. I have driven through NYC. This, however, is a far different experience and probably what would deter me from
moving to LA in the first place. I used to laugh when I talked to bestie and she was complaining about traffic being nuts. I've been on 495 south on a Friday afternoon. It couldn't be worse could it? It is. It is 495 south, on a Friday afternoon in mid July, all the damn time.

2.  All you THINK you know about he pacific ocean? It's a lie.
No seriously. I thought a. it is always warm and sunny in southern California and yes, I did have above 70 degree weather every day. But the ocean?! That shit is cold. And no, not Maine cold, but a lot colder than I anticipated. Yes, I still put my feet in and unfortunately, most of my pant legs with it but I also put my feet in the Atlantic, in Maine, in December. I'm tapped and I'm ok with that (perhaps a polar plunge soon?) but seriously, it's cold.

3. Everyday, YOU deserve some "me" time and that "me" time should be used.

Everyone knows you need time to yourself. it's no secret. no matter the length of time in a relationship, if you're in one or not, what your job, what your lifestyle. you need me time. and i'm not talking time to run around and do errands and pick up groceries and do things for other people but be alone in your car while you're doing it. after this trip, i know the real meaning of "me time". It consists of time doing what YOU want to do for YOU. reading, writing, curled up in a ball on the couch sipping coffee and blogging, dancing around your living room to some crazy 80's punk band. coloring in a coloring book with a pack of brand new crayola's (because seriously, what else is there?). whist in california, i had the opportunity to really take me time. when bestie had to work, i got to sit out on the porch and read, drink coffee, eat lollipops (they, much like the threaded friendship bracelet, are making a comeback). i took a lot of me time. being with my bestie was much needed me time, in and of itself. but since being home, i have made it a point to spend a few minutes every day, doing what i want to do. lately, it's been reading or coloring while drinking some hot water with lemon (another cali pick up- thanks bean). it might be 15 minutes a day, it might be an hour and 15 minutes a day and it might be 5 minutes. but i've done it, just about every day since i've been back. some days, there hasn't been time for me time because things needed to be done and for once, that was okay. i didn't feel like i HAD to do them. chances are, unless some fairy godmother cleaning squad comes flying out of the sky, the laundry that's there today, is still going to be there tomorrow and no one is going to judge me if i haven't folded it yet... and finally, i'm okay with that. we spend so much time trying to please everyone else that we forget that making everyone else happy can only happen if WE are happy... and that starts with "me" time.

4. it's okay to go away and it's okay to want to come home, and it's okay to miss the people you love in between. 

being gone from home is a strange thing when you have a routine. when you wake up next to the same person, every day, and you cook dinner each night and one of you gets the drinks while the other puts the food on plates, and you know how you'll sleep at night if one of you went to bed before the other... it's strange to leave and to go away and to not have that person, that part of your routine, with you for the time you're away. as women especially, we feel like we have to leave lists and notes and charts and that without us, things will surely fall apart. and no disrespect to men, but sometimes, you give us the impression that you don't have a clue as to what goes on each day to make things run smoothly... and then, we go away and you surprise us. it's not that i doubt boyfriend's ability to remember to take out the trash on friday mornings at the crack of dawn b/c the trash men cannot decided if they prefer to pick up the trash at 7am or at 12pm. it's not that i doubt his ability to remember to feed the dog, except that when asked, sometimes i get the impression that he goes momentarily deaf. he knows how to do a load of laundry and has never turned anything pink that wasn't supposed to be and when it comes down to it, i know he can steer the ship as well as i can... it's okay to step away, to not be in control. and it's okay to want to come home. after a period of time away, it's normal to miss the everyday life and the routine, despite creating a new routine while away. it's okay to miss your significant other, your kids (i don't have any but expect that if i did, it would be hardest to leave them) and your pets. that's OK. taking time for yourself and going away alone allows you time to reflect on all the different aspects of your life. distance really does make the heart grow fonder and sometimes, we all need a little time away to remember how good it feels to be home. 

5. i've said it before and i'll say it again... California (and probably many travel destinations) changes you... 

no hidden message here... i'm different. i didn't believe that i would be and i didn't believe it when bestie told me it would happen. it happened to her. it happened to her previous guests and it happened to me. it's not a big thing, and probably not something a lot of people would know unless you told them (ahem. spolier alert?) but it changes you. you realize that coffee tastes just as good when it costs $1 and is made the right way, that doing things you loved as a kid are great ways to spend some alone time, and putting on your favorite songs and singing at the top of your lungs at least once per day is okay. it's kind of comforting to know that you can alter small things about yourself and in turn, feel that you're closer to becoming who envision yourself to be. 

It's All About Attitude

So today is technically day 2 of my journey to SoCal (although if you are reading this, its well past day 2). Today my bestie had some work things to attend to so we headed down to Beverly Hills so she could head to her work thing and so I had somewhere to explore. I spent the better part of an hour in a cozy seat outside the coffee bean (they dot the streets like dunkin donuts in MA). I brought my kindle as any well prepared, "dining alone" individual would come well prepared with, and I sat and read/sipped my mocha latte/people watched and thus began the basis of this post.

Beverly Hills, while certainly a life style in and of itself, is an attitude. It's glitzy and glamorous, yes; and the stores exude this "please don't walk in here without the triple platinum card" but it's all about how you walk around. And, people who live here don't care. Which makes it that much easier to exude confidence in a place where it is easy to have none.

The thing about beverly hills, and about LA in general is how nice people are. I'm not going to lie, it was the absolute last thing I expected. In a place teeming with movie stars and celebs, no one has to be nice. But they are. Even when you are cutting them off in traffic. And trust me when I say that they make Massachusetts drivers look like saints.

The craziest thing about the LA attitude is that no matter who you are, what you wear, what your job, LA changes your attitude....

About everything.

*post LA note: when someone says "la will change you" just believe them. they aren't big things, they are tiny little things that are unrecognizable to the naked eye but none the less, they are changes and if you're lucky, they are not only positive changes but things that you will carry with you for the rest of your life....

blogging on a plane....

*note... this post was written over a week ago, on a plane, as i was on my way to LA....

Air travel is probably one of the most overpriced conveniences of the world. Think about it. You, along with the roughly 160 other passengers on your flight, or more depending on your airline/trip etc, pay an  exorbinate amount of money simply to get places faster. Don't misjudge- I have no problem packing a bag and hoping on a plane with the best of 'em but I think  it says something about us, as a society, and our inabilities to do anything slowly anymore.

I remember growing up, which in all reality wasn't THAT long ago, and having weekends where everyone, the whole family, was home together. We did things together if we wanted to, not because we had planned them months in advance. Where did that go? Now, weekends are inundated with soccer games and dance competitions and this gathering or that tournament. The weekend exists so that we can say "yay, I have the weekend off" but it is rarely, if ever anymore, a time of relaxation.

But, all this hustle and bustle has taken away from the good old fashioned road trip. Today, flying is the norm rather than the exception. I used to get so excited to go on a plane (oh who am I kidding, I still do) but now, I would pay good money for a road trip. A chance to see the US and to visit ballparks and random points of interest. To spend hours belting out off-key ballads and to spend time talking and being okay with getting lost. A chance to relax and enjoy the company of my loved ones, to fight incessantly with my siblings and to bother my parents with endless rounds of "I have to pee" and "are we there yet"...
But for me, as with so many people today, time is off the essence and getting there faster has become more important than the act of traveling itself. So as my flights begins its descend into the Los Angeles area (current temp 65 and a nice change from the 20 it was when I left at 5am), I am going to make it a point to slow down, relax, enjoy the new stuff around me and the company of my bestie <3 and while I am sure I'll miss my boys, it is going to be so  nice to be away...

* post trip note: it was for sure, one of the most relaxing weeks i can EVER remember... thank you bestie...  I can't wait to experience that type of clarity and relaxation again, be it in Cali or elsewhere...

[trying to get] back in the habit

every new year's eve, people make resolutions about getting in shape and going to the gym and being healthier etc. and every year, the gym packs up big time for about a month before slowly, the snow, or the cold or the flu or some other plauge starts knocking people off the list. bam. bam. BAM. they drop like flies. it happens, we all know it does. and this year, i did NOT make a resolution to do any of those things yet somehow, it's happening. and not just the going to the gym adn the being healthier, but the getting into a routine thing.

last friday, boyfriend and i both had the day off (yay!) to spend together. he was going to go sign up at a gym that's a little closer to his work, but farther away from our house. i headed off to order a bridesmaid dress, passing boyfriend on his way to the gym while i was on my way home to change. i did just that, then headed to get in a workout. except that while driving there, i got a phone call from boyfriend who said the girl wouldn't accept his debit card as a way to process a payment (just for the record, we used to go to that other gym and they had NO problem taking my money out of my debit card....) but anyway. so i get to the gym and he calls and says all that and i suggest going to find out the difference in price to add him to my gym membership. becuase of my AAA discount, my monthly cost would only increase by $15 with is only $5 more than what boyfriend would have had to pay at that "other gym". plus, the facility is better (i think at least). so he gives in and i leave the gym (no workout) and go back home to pick him up. great. we go back, workout together(ish) and head home. by this point it was already like, 230 and we were pretty hungry so we grabbed some lunch, went home to shower and change and ran some other errands we had planned for friday.... on saturday, we had to work different schedules so i went to the gym after work and he went before. then on sunday, he had to be at work early so we decided to go around 8... on a sunday. at 8am. YIKES. i dislike mornings. anyone who knows me knows i hate them. i don't even like to talk in the morning. seriously. it's my silent time. but since i don't usually work till noon, it hasn't really bothered me... okay i'm so off topic...

so we go to the gym at 8am on sunday and obviously by 8pm i was ready for bed. boyfriend wanted to get up and go to the gym monday morning at 7.... yeah. that's what i said... 7... and i know that isn't early for any of my school teacher friends and anyone with a 9-5ish type job, but when you are a] not a morning person and b] don't work till the afternoon, 7am seems wrong... but we got up. and went to the gym. at 7am... turns out, as much as i hate dragging myself out of bed and putting my feet on the cold floor, i actually like having the gym be done and over with early in the day. with this new routine has come even more of a new routine... when we get home, i make lunches [yes, boyfriend can and often does make his own but with this new routine, it's working for us], i wash any dishes that are in the sink, make a cup of coffee in my new keurig, feed the dog, make breakfast and prep anything for dinner that needs preping... then i get to sit down and watch a little tv [rocked some full house this morning] and after breakfast, shower. yesterday i had time to go tanning... today i had time to get my nails done AND go play with new black puppy!

the newest addition to our family!

Buckly [Buck].

11 weeks old.

yup... new black puppy is awesome. while he won't take the place of our lab, Iggy, he is a great new addition to our family and i'm SO excited that we [well, my parents really] are going to give him a good home... he was a rescue out of tennessee and so worth it.

without a new routine, i never would have had time to go play with him this morning. or, i would have, but i would have skipped the gym or getting my nails done or not made lunch or breakfast or any of that. somehow, making no resolution has helped me start to make some great changes... hopefully, we can keep it going. 

back at it

it's officially 2012 and i have blogged all of once... and i'm not even sure (without looking back at it) that i posted post 2011 which would mean so far, i'm the slacker of the year. can i be honest? of course i can, it's my damn blog... honestly, i haven't felt the inspiration to blog... the week before 2012 officially started, i was so inspired, i think by 2011 ending. i blogged and even had to save a few of my entries so i wouldn't pile too much up at once. but now, i'm at a loss for words and for anyone who really knows me, that doesn't happen often.

there are so many things contribuiting to my loss for words, at least i think so. some of them i have yet to confront head on, and others don't really require me to confront as i know  what they are and they are only having this affect on me because i'm not blogging. if that even make any sense. i haven't felt the inspiration to pin via pinterest, to post witty sayings on FB or even to really check twitter except for the occasional "there's a commercial on, let's kill the next 4.5 minutes".

i will say that i'm happy that tv shows are back to being on, and new. my thursday nights without grey's and private practice and of course jersey shore, just weren't complete. i will say, at the risk of sounding like a complete nutcase, that i enjoy Jersey Shore much more when they actually are AT the jersey shore. it makes their lack of class and rediculousness seem okay. (no disrepsect to anyone from jersey or the shore but... let's be honest... those kids do not belong in italy). okay, maybe vinny... oh shit.. stop me before i go full out JS on this blog post.....

my life is now back to a more routine schedule which is nice. and we have our first wedding of 2012 coming up which we are both really looking forward to. i think more beucase we get to spend a weekend away and neither of us are really "involved" in this wedding. and it's not family for either of us which, after a gazillion weddings, i think makes going to a wedding different. we had a slow year last year...  only 3 weddings. this year, we have 5 as of right now. plus, we have baby showers this year too... well, i have baby showers. i don't think boyfriend will be tagging along to those. it's certainly going to be a busy spring and summer... i'm looking forward to some of the places i'll get to go for these weddings though. as much as it is a pain to pack and unpack and repack and run the risk of forgetting that thing you need, especially if you are IN the wedding, i like being able to go away. this year, we are headed to new jersey, maine, the cape and virginia. we are also staying local which is equally as nice because 1. the place is awesome and 2. we will get to come home and sleep in our own bed...

for someone who had nothing to say, i just did a good deal of rambling... still, it was nothing substantial... oh well... i guess we are all entitled to some daily ramblings...

happy sunday!

Resolutions

Dictionary.com defines 'resolution' as the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute. That's all fine and dandy and with the new year rapidly approaching (thank god) everyone is all "what's your resolution". Just today, Tall Skinny Kid was asking all of us what our resolutions are. Some were the usual, short lived, ultimately epic fail resolutions like "eat better" or "get healthy" or "go to the gym". Other's like that of Tall Skinny Kid were to eat less take out and actually utilize the kitchen in his home to cook him some meals. And I got to thinking.... Resolutions or Real-solutions... This year, I'm making a resolution that I'm already on my way to keeping (at least through the start of 2012... and by the start, I mean through Jan 1). This year, I'm going to get organized... no really. i'm going to take before and after pictures (which i'm already slacking on becuase i organized the bedroom a little bit and didn't take any pictures). I'm sure i can just take it apart and put it back the way it was and then back the way it is now but... okay anyway...

my resolution is to get organized. through my new addiction to Pinterest and the endless links to some of the most fabulous blogs ever, i have found tons of DIY projects and organizational tips and tricks to get me started. one of my newest favorite is one i stole from my aunt... we have an INCREDIBLY small bathroom. (i'm not complaining, at least we have a bathroom and it's kind of become a claim to fame.. "wow, your bathroom is really small") it is pretty tiny... so we are using simple solutions to try to fix it up... such as a shoe caddy... you know, the things you hang from the door to stick shoes in but that have shoe spots so small that boyfriends' size 13's don't fit in them? yeah one of those... turns out, it doubles as a holder for all things big and small... so we are going to add one to the back of the door to store things like the hair dryer, the lotion, extra toothbrushes... you know, that kind of thing... i'm so excited to get started reorganizing! i added one to the backside of the closet door in the bedroom too... it's perfect because it holds all my hair products that i don't use on a daily basis but might want, lotions, and medicines that i like to keep handy.

the other night, i took to organizing my pots and pans and tupperware. i went through all of it, weeding out anything that didn't have a bottom to go with a cover or a cover with a bottom. and i moved a lot of other stuff from the "pots and pans" cabinet so i have more room for my new stainless steel set that my mom got me for christmas.

so the year of organization is already in full swing... i have a laundry list of things to target, but it gives me something to look forward to, other than turning 30 in 2012... (and unlike Tall Skinny Kid, i'm not looking forward to the big 3-Oh)

my other real-solution is a little on the rediculous side. i'm going to accomplish this task thanks to my new bff Netflix. let me back up... i have an addiction to Law and Order- SVU. if it's on, I watch it, even if i've seen the episoe a bazillion times before (let's be honest, i have seen a lot of them a number of times). but there are 13 seasons and although i've seen a lot of the episodes, it has never been a show that i "follow". so this year, i'm going to watch all the episodes of SVU from Seasons 1-13, in order. This includes the ones i've already seen. So far, i'm through season 1 and onto the first few of season 2. it's a dark undertaking, but its something i know i can get through. how's that for a resolution!

what is your 2012 real-solution??