A Different Feel at Fenway

Last night, we went to see the sox play... Yes, again. It seems like we have been there a lot this season. It's really only been 3 times but it really does feel like more than that. Anyway I digress... A few weeks back, on a slightly rainy, chilly Friday night, boyfriend and I sat out in the bleachers, adorned with long sleeves AND sweatshirts, listening to what would be our final game with Carl Beane. A few days later, the greatest ballpark announcer (in my opinion) passed away in a single car crash on the mass pike. Last night, boyfriend and I were again at Fenway, this time in the grandstand behind home plate and much warmer. It was different. I mean, Fenway is the same. The game is the game... Some are clearly better than others... But it was different. It was a familiar voice (still not sure who) but it was different... It's weird because 5 years ago, boyfriend and I, before he was boyfriend, had our first date at Fenway (June 14, 2007). Coincidentally, that date falls on the same day it did as our first date. Unfortunately, due to our work schedules, we won't be able to go... But again, I'm off topic. Over the past 5 years we have been to a number of sox games, all of which Carl Beane was the announcer. It was definitely different last night, and from now on, there will be something just a little bit different at Fenway... But it will forever be the spot where boyfriend and I took our first photo together, shared our first beers and made our first memories...

Goodnight, Carl Beane....

Having been to Fenway only days ago, I feel lucky to have heard his voice twice already this season. The news is teeming with the talk of Carl Beane's passing...we are actually watching Comcast sports net as I type this and they are talking about him. "the voice of Fenway".... Boyfriend and i were just just reminiscing about fenway and how i will miss hearing my favorite name announced this season... Magglio Ordonez. No, not my favorite player, but one of my favorite things to hear at fenway every year.

You are a part of Fenway that will never be forgotten and I am lucky that I spent my first opening day listening to you...

You will be greatly missed by all of the fans of red sox nation....

Goodnight, Carl Beane... Thanks for the memories...

on top of the world

Last Sunday, after a particularly LONG week and equally long "weekend", puppy and I ventured to my parents house Sunday mid morning. We stopped off to drop off a coffee to a friend who was momentarily car-less and sick on top of that and after the dog pestered her small black cats for a bit, we headed to my parents. They have a new puppy- we lost our lab back in mid November and this new guy has been around since shortly after that... So the problem is that my dog and new puppy are not exactly fond of each other. No, that's not quite right... New puppy is very fond of my dog- fond of chasing him,stepping on him and trying to sniff parts of his body that should never be sniffed... That said, my dog is less than thrilled about any of this. We haven't had them around each other too much because of this but I decided to give it a whirl. Uh. Failure. So, our visit was short lived... Very short. With it still being only about 1130-1200, I felt like I needed to do something with my day and I wasn't feeling the gym. In large part due to the fact that I would have had to bring the dog home first then go back to the gym and I wasn't feeling it.... So instead, we went hiking..I hardly ever hike. Scratch that, this mountain is literally less than 2 miles from my arentsnhouse,where I lived for over 20 years, and I have probably been to the top a total of 3 times prior to sunday- if that. So I decided puppy and I were headed up.... Thankfully, I had his harness and leash (those harness things are awesome... Just saying).

While we were hiking, I was listening to some DMB radio on pandora and texting with bestie. While I don't mind that we took the long route,I'm not entirely sure the dog was too thrilled, but he survived. After what seemed like forever, we somehow made a giant circle and still hadn't managed to reach the top... I knew we had probably just walked past the point where you turn to head to the top but I was frustrated. I texted bestie something about not being able to find the top and how I wished she was with me because she would know where to go... Like a great friend and support, she texted back... "don't worry, you'll find it...but getting to the top isn't the most important part"... I smiled as I read it and when I looked up to figure out where we were, we had reached the path to the top... Her support helped me find it, even though it was just some simple encouragement.... While I would have preferred to have her here, I felt like I reached the top with her...

When we did get to the top, puppy and I sat down to take it all in... Ok, I sat. He sniffed around trying to lay claim on every tree branch in existence and I tried to keep him from going a little too far from the edge... It's amazing, to be up there, taller than the trees that you stood beneath only a short time ago... It makes you feel like up here, you could conquer the world. What really amazes me is that despite the mass destruction that ripped through my hometown almost one year ago (6.1.11), from up there, nothing has changed. And yes, I know it's because of the mountains location in relation to where the tornado hit, but when you are up that high, you expect to see everything as it is from the ground...but it just isn't like that. Up there, there is still preservation of the woods and the trees and from up there, everything looks ok...like its all going to be okay...

When you get to the top of this mountain, there is a little mailbox with a notebook in it. People write all kinds of random things in it... There is the ever popular "hiked thisnw the family" with the date and things of that nature... The random stuff that was probably penned by some high school kid about how there is nothing to do in this town blah blah... And some people write about the reasons they hiked the mountain in the first place... I think it's a bit therapeutic to sit and leaf through some of the things people wrote, so puppy and I went and snagged the notebooks (there were 2 this time) and a pen.... I began leafing through the smaller of the two when I came across the writings of my besties family and friends. They had hiked a few monts earlier in memory of her amazing dad and I began to read all the things they had written... When I looked up to contemplate the way this spot, on the top of a mountain, can be so many things to so many people, a butterfly flew down... It hovered for a few minutes and all I could do was smile. I knew what it meant and I couldn't help but feel like so much made sense...

I decided to write in the notebook, after all, is it fair to read the words of others without leaving your own to share? It was nothing much, just a few words about why I was up there at all, along with the date.... As I finished writing, I went to close the second notebook and happened upon a page long note. This note was actually from two people and I decided to read it... There was so much love and certainty contained in these messages, written to each other, on top of the mountain... In a time where we feel so much that nothing is certain, it is comforting to know that up there, on a giant slab of rock, overlooking the world below you, that certainty exists... That somewhere, in the craziness of life, at some point, everything will make sense...

"...it reminds me that no matter how small you feel today, this spot will make you feel on top of the world..." (unknown)

I can't wait to feel on top of the world again this week....