Coming Home (a few weeks removed)

What a long short few days. It's crazy how being away can seem like you were there forever but when you really stop to think about it, you were barely  there at all.  Overall, in only a few short days, I managed to learn a few things about LA and about myself in general.

1.  You have not experienced traffic until you have been to LA.
I mean this. I have been to Boston at rush hour during a home sox game. I have driven through NYC. This, however, is a far different experience and probably what would deter me from
moving to LA in the first place. I used to laugh when I talked to bestie and she was complaining about traffic being nuts. I've been on 495 south on a Friday afternoon. It couldn't be worse could it? It is. It is 495 south, on a Friday afternoon in mid July, all the damn time.

2.  All you THINK you know about he pacific ocean? It's a lie.
No seriously. I thought a. it is always warm and sunny in southern California and yes, I did have above 70 degree weather every day. But the ocean?! That shit is cold. And no, not Maine cold, but a lot colder than I anticipated. Yes, I still put my feet in and unfortunately, most of my pant legs with it but I also put my feet in the Atlantic, in Maine, in December. I'm tapped and I'm ok with that (perhaps a polar plunge soon?) but seriously, it's cold.

3. Everyday, YOU deserve some "me" time and that "me" time should be used.

Everyone knows you need time to yourself. it's no secret. no matter the length of time in a relationship, if you're in one or not, what your job, what your lifestyle. you need me time. and i'm not talking time to run around and do errands and pick up groceries and do things for other people but be alone in your car while you're doing it. after this trip, i know the real meaning of "me time". It consists of time doing what YOU want to do for YOU. reading, writing, curled up in a ball on the couch sipping coffee and blogging, dancing around your living room to some crazy 80's punk band. coloring in a coloring book with a pack of brand new crayola's (because seriously, what else is there?). whist in california, i had the opportunity to really take me time. when bestie had to work, i got to sit out on the porch and read, drink coffee, eat lollipops (they, much like the threaded friendship bracelet, are making a comeback). i took a lot of me time. being with my bestie was much needed me time, in and of itself. but since being home, i have made it a point to spend a few minutes every day, doing what i want to do. lately, it's been reading or coloring while drinking some hot water with lemon (another cali pick up- thanks bean). it might be 15 minutes a day, it might be an hour and 15 minutes a day and it might be 5 minutes. but i've done it, just about every day since i've been back. some days, there hasn't been time for me time because things needed to be done and for once, that was okay. i didn't feel like i HAD to do them. chances are, unless some fairy godmother cleaning squad comes flying out of the sky, the laundry that's there today, is still going to be there tomorrow and no one is going to judge me if i haven't folded it yet... and finally, i'm okay with that. we spend so much time trying to please everyone else that we forget that making everyone else happy can only happen if WE are happy... and that starts with "me" time.

4. it's okay to go away and it's okay to want to come home, and it's okay to miss the people you love in between. 

being gone from home is a strange thing when you have a routine. when you wake up next to the same person, every day, and you cook dinner each night and one of you gets the drinks while the other puts the food on plates, and you know how you'll sleep at night if one of you went to bed before the other... it's strange to leave and to go away and to not have that person, that part of your routine, with you for the time you're away. as women especially, we feel like we have to leave lists and notes and charts and that without us, things will surely fall apart. and no disrespect to men, but sometimes, you give us the impression that you don't have a clue as to what goes on each day to make things run smoothly... and then, we go away and you surprise us. it's not that i doubt boyfriend's ability to remember to take out the trash on friday mornings at the crack of dawn b/c the trash men cannot decided if they prefer to pick up the trash at 7am or at 12pm. it's not that i doubt his ability to remember to feed the dog, except that when asked, sometimes i get the impression that he goes momentarily deaf. he knows how to do a load of laundry and has never turned anything pink that wasn't supposed to be and when it comes down to it, i know he can steer the ship as well as i can... it's okay to step away, to not be in control. and it's okay to want to come home. after a period of time away, it's normal to miss the everyday life and the routine, despite creating a new routine while away. it's okay to miss your significant other, your kids (i don't have any but expect that if i did, it would be hardest to leave them) and your pets. that's OK. taking time for yourself and going away alone allows you time to reflect on all the different aspects of your life. distance really does make the heart grow fonder and sometimes, we all need a little time away to remember how good it feels to be home. 

5. i've said it before and i'll say it again... California (and probably many travel destinations) changes you... 

no hidden message here... i'm different. i didn't believe that i would be and i didn't believe it when bestie told me it would happen. it happened to her. it happened to her previous guests and it happened to me. it's not a big thing, and probably not something a lot of people would know unless you told them (ahem. spolier alert?) but it changes you. you realize that coffee tastes just as good when it costs $1 and is made the right way, that doing things you loved as a kid are great ways to spend some alone time, and putting on your favorite songs and singing at the top of your lungs at least once per day is okay. it's kind of comforting to know that you can alter small things about yourself and in turn, feel that you're closer to becoming who envision yourself to be. 

It's All About Attitude

So today is technically day 2 of my journey to SoCal (although if you are reading this, its well past day 2). Today my bestie had some work things to attend to so we headed down to Beverly Hills so she could head to her work thing and so I had somewhere to explore. I spent the better part of an hour in a cozy seat outside the coffee bean (they dot the streets like dunkin donuts in MA). I brought my kindle as any well prepared, "dining alone" individual would come well prepared with, and I sat and read/sipped my mocha latte/people watched and thus began the basis of this post.

Beverly Hills, while certainly a life style in and of itself, is an attitude. It's glitzy and glamorous, yes; and the stores exude this "please don't walk in here without the triple platinum card" but it's all about how you walk around. And, people who live here don't care. Which makes it that much easier to exude confidence in a place where it is easy to have none.

The thing about beverly hills, and about LA in general is how nice people are. I'm not going to lie, it was the absolute last thing I expected. In a place teeming with movie stars and celebs, no one has to be nice. But they are. Even when you are cutting them off in traffic. And trust me when I say that they make Massachusetts drivers look like saints.

The craziest thing about the LA attitude is that no matter who you are, what you wear, what your job, LA changes your attitude....

About everything.

*post LA note: when someone says "la will change you" just believe them. they aren't big things, they are tiny little things that are unrecognizable to the naked eye but none the less, they are changes and if you're lucky, they are not only positive changes but things that you will carry with you for the rest of your life....

blogging on a plane....

*note... this post was written over a week ago, on a plane, as i was on my way to LA....

Air travel is probably one of the most overpriced conveniences of the world. Think about it. You, along with the roughly 160 other passengers on your flight, or more depending on your airline/trip etc, pay an  exorbinate amount of money simply to get places faster. Don't misjudge- I have no problem packing a bag and hoping on a plane with the best of 'em but I think  it says something about us, as a society, and our inabilities to do anything slowly anymore.

I remember growing up, which in all reality wasn't THAT long ago, and having weekends where everyone, the whole family, was home together. We did things together if we wanted to, not because we had planned them months in advance. Where did that go? Now, weekends are inundated with soccer games and dance competitions and this gathering or that tournament. The weekend exists so that we can say "yay, I have the weekend off" but it is rarely, if ever anymore, a time of relaxation.

But, all this hustle and bustle has taken away from the good old fashioned road trip. Today, flying is the norm rather than the exception. I used to get so excited to go on a plane (oh who am I kidding, I still do) but now, I would pay good money for a road trip. A chance to see the US and to visit ballparks and random points of interest. To spend hours belting out off-key ballads and to spend time talking and being okay with getting lost. A chance to relax and enjoy the company of my loved ones, to fight incessantly with my siblings and to bother my parents with endless rounds of "I have to pee" and "are we there yet"...
But for me, as with so many people today, time is off the essence and getting there faster has become more important than the act of traveling itself. So as my flights begins its descend into the Los Angeles area (current temp 65 and a nice change from the 20 it was when I left at 5am), I am going to make it a point to slow down, relax, enjoy the new stuff around me and the company of my bestie <3 and while I am sure I'll miss my boys, it is going to be so  nice to be away...

* post trip note: it was for sure, one of the most relaxing weeks i can EVER remember... thank you bestie...  I can't wait to experience that type of clarity and relaxation again, be it in Cali or elsewhere...

[trying to get] back in the habit

every new year's eve, people make resolutions about getting in shape and going to the gym and being healthier etc. and every year, the gym packs up big time for about a month before slowly, the snow, or the cold or the flu or some other plauge starts knocking people off the list. bam. bam. BAM. they drop like flies. it happens, we all know it does. and this year, i did NOT make a resolution to do any of those things yet somehow, it's happening. and not just the going to the gym adn the being healthier, but the getting into a routine thing.

last friday, boyfriend and i both had the day off (yay!) to spend together. he was going to go sign up at a gym that's a little closer to his work, but farther away from our house. i headed off to order a bridesmaid dress, passing boyfriend on his way to the gym while i was on my way home to change. i did just that, then headed to get in a workout. except that while driving there, i got a phone call from boyfriend who said the girl wouldn't accept his debit card as a way to process a payment (just for the record, we used to go to that other gym and they had NO problem taking my money out of my debit card....) but anyway. so i get to the gym and he calls and says all that and i suggest going to find out the difference in price to add him to my gym membership. becuase of my AAA discount, my monthly cost would only increase by $15 with is only $5 more than what boyfriend would have had to pay at that "other gym". plus, the facility is better (i think at least). so he gives in and i leave the gym (no workout) and go back home to pick him up. great. we go back, workout together(ish) and head home. by this point it was already like, 230 and we were pretty hungry so we grabbed some lunch, went home to shower and change and ran some other errands we had planned for friday.... on saturday, we had to work different schedules so i went to the gym after work and he went before. then on sunday, he had to be at work early so we decided to go around 8... on a sunday. at 8am. YIKES. i dislike mornings. anyone who knows me knows i hate them. i don't even like to talk in the morning. seriously. it's my silent time. but since i don't usually work till noon, it hasn't really bothered me... okay i'm so off topic...

so we go to the gym at 8am on sunday and obviously by 8pm i was ready for bed. boyfriend wanted to get up and go to the gym monday morning at 7.... yeah. that's what i said... 7... and i know that isn't early for any of my school teacher friends and anyone with a 9-5ish type job, but when you are a] not a morning person and b] don't work till the afternoon, 7am seems wrong... but we got up. and went to the gym. at 7am... turns out, as much as i hate dragging myself out of bed and putting my feet on the cold floor, i actually like having the gym be done and over with early in the day. with this new routine has come even more of a new routine... when we get home, i make lunches [yes, boyfriend can and often does make his own but with this new routine, it's working for us], i wash any dishes that are in the sink, make a cup of coffee in my new keurig, feed the dog, make breakfast and prep anything for dinner that needs preping... then i get to sit down and watch a little tv [rocked some full house this morning] and after breakfast, shower. yesterday i had time to go tanning... today i had time to get my nails done AND go play with new black puppy!

the newest addition to our family!

Buckly [Buck].

11 weeks old.

yup... new black puppy is awesome. while he won't take the place of our lab, Iggy, he is a great new addition to our family and i'm SO excited that we [well, my parents really] are going to give him a good home... he was a rescue out of tennessee and so worth it.

without a new routine, i never would have had time to go play with him this morning. or, i would have, but i would have skipped the gym or getting my nails done or not made lunch or breakfast or any of that. somehow, making no resolution has helped me start to make some great changes... hopefully, we can keep it going. 

back at it

it's officially 2012 and i have blogged all of once... and i'm not even sure (without looking back at it) that i posted post 2011 which would mean so far, i'm the slacker of the year. can i be honest? of course i can, it's my damn blog... honestly, i haven't felt the inspiration to blog... the week before 2012 officially started, i was so inspired, i think by 2011 ending. i blogged and even had to save a few of my entries so i wouldn't pile too much up at once. but now, i'm at a loss for words and for anyone who really knows me, that doesn't happen often.

there are so many things contribuiting to my loss for words, at least i think so. some of them i have yet to confront head on, and others don't really require me to confront as i know  what they are and they are only having this affect on me because i'm not blogging. if that even make any sense. i haven't felt the inspiration to pin via pinterest, to post witty sayings on FB or even to really check twitter except for the occasional "there's a commercial on, let's kill the next 4.5 minutes".

i will say that i'm happy that tv shows are back to being on, and new. my thursday nights without grey's and private practice and of course jersey shore, just weren't complete. i will say, at the risk of sounding like a complete nutcase, that i enjoy Jersey Shore much more when they actually are AT the jersey shore. it makes their lack of class and rediculousness seem okay. (no disrepsect to anyone from jersey or the shore but... let's be honest... those kids do not belong in italy). okay, maybe vinny... oh shit.. stop me before i go full out JS on this blog post.....

my life is now back to a more routine schedule which is nice. and we have our first wedding of 2012 coming up which we are both really looking forward to. i think more beucase we get to spend a weekend away and neither of us are really "involved" in this wedding. and it's not family for either of us which, after a gazillion weddings, i think makes going to a wedding different. we had a slow year last year...  only 3 weddings. this year, we have 5 as of right now. plus, we have baby showers this year too... well, i have baby showers. i don't think boyfriend will be tagging along to those. it's certainly going to be a busy spring and summer... i'm looking forward to some of the places i'll get to go for these weddings though. as much as it is a pain to pack and unpack and repack and run the risk of forgetting that thing you need, especially if you are IN the wedding, i like being able to go away. this year, we are headed to new jersey, maine, the cape and virginia. we are also staying local which is equally as nice because 1. the place is awesome and 2. we will get to come home and sleep in our own bed...

for someone who had nothing to say, i just did a good deal of rambling... still, it was nothing substantial... oh well... i guess we are all entitled to some daily ramblings...

happy sunday!

Resolutions

Dictionary.com defines 'resolution' as the mental state or quality of being resolved or resolute. That's all fine and dandy and with the new year rapidly approaching (thank god) everyone is all "what's your resolution". Just today, Tall Skinny Kid was asking all of us what our resolutions are. Some were the usual, short lived, ultimately epic fail resolutions like "eat better" or "get healthy" or "go to the gym". Other's like that of Tall Skinny Kid were to eat less take out and actually utilize the kitchen in his home to cook him some meals. And I got to thinking.... Resolutions or Real-solutions... This year, I'm making a resolution that I'm already on my way to keeping (at least through the start of 2012... and by the start, I mean through Jan 1). This year, I'm going to get organized... no really. i'm going to take before and after pictures (which i'm already slacking on becuase i organized the bedroom a little bit and didn't take any pictures). I'm sure i can just take it apart and put it back the way it was and then back the way it is now but... okay anyway...

my resolution is to get organized. through my new addiction to Pinterest and the endless links to some of the most fabulous blogs ever, i have found tons of DIY projects and organizational tips and tricks to get me started. one of my newest favorite is one i stole from my aunt... we have an INCREDIBLY small bathroom. (i'm not complaining, at least we have a bathroom and it's kind of become a claim to fame.. "wow, your bathroom is really small") it is pretty tiny... so we are using simple solutions to try to fix it up... such as a shoe caddy... you know, the things you hang from the door to stick shoes in but that have shoe spots so small that boyfriends' size 13's don't fit in them? yeah one of those... turns out, it doubles as a holder for all things big and small... so we are going to add one to the back of the door to store things like the hair dryer, the lotion, extra toothbrushes... you know, that kind of thing... i'm so excited to get started reorganizing! i added one to the backside of the closet door in the bedroom too... it's perfect because it holds all my hair products that i don't use on a daily basis but might want, lotions, and medicines that i like to keep handy.

the other night, i took to organizing my pots and pans and tupperware. i went through all of it, weeding out anything that didn't have a bottom to go with a cover or a cover with a bottom. and i moved a lot of other stuff from the "pots and pans" cabinet so i have more room for my new stainless steel set that my mom got me for christmas.

so the year of organization is already in full swing... i have a laundry list of things to target, but it gives me something to look forward to, other than turning 30 in 2012... (and unlike Tall Skinny Kid, i'm not looking forward to the big 3-Oh)

my other real-solution is a little on the rediculous side. i'm going to accomplish this task thanks to my new bff Netflix. let me back up... i have an addiction to Law and Order- SVU. if it's on, I watch it, even if i've seen the episoe a bazillion times before (let's be honest, i have seen a lot of them a number of times). but there are 13 seasons and although i've seen a lot of the episodes, it has never been a show that i "follow". so this year, i'm going to watch all the episodes of SVU from Seasons 1-13, in order. This includes the ones i've already seen. So far, i'm through season 1 and onto the first few of season 2. it's a dark undertaking, but its something i know i can get through. how's that for a resolution!

what is your 2012 real-solution??

The Year in Review [Part 2]

so here it is... the rest of the year... and downhill from june, i can pretty much promise.

July 2011

High: s & b's wedding. sister's bridal shower. dad's surprise 60th

Lows: bestie moving to cali. being sick

so july had a lot to offer. 2 of my great friends got married. they got married not far from where we live and there were a lot of alumni from our college there. it was one of the most laid back, fun weddings i have EVER been in. we had a blast before, during and after the wedding. it was just a great day all around. then at the end of july, we had my sisters bridal shower. it was a great day, with a surprise visit from one of the bridesmaids who had moved to florida and her sweet little baby girl. brief visit, but so great to have them here... then my dad turned 60 and we had a surprise party [which probably wasn't a surprise] for him. it was a great time and he loved it which made it even better. at the beginning of july (okay actually the very end of june) my bestie moved to cali... i'm really happy for her that she went, but was very sad to see her leave... then at the end of july, i got the plague. no really... i had 102-104 fever. a cough. the pukes. the whole 9. i'm not sure how boyfriend didn't get sick. i ended up at the doctors and the ER and eventually, the shit worked itself out.

August 2011
High: sister's bachelorette weekend. kenny chesney. vacation with boyfriend and his family
Low: a hurricane
August started off pretty great... we spent a weekend in vermont for my sisters bachelorette- a nice low key weekend. some bar hopping. some chillin' at the house and relaxing outside. some relaxing and swimming and a weekend full of memories. i had a pretty great time and i think everyone who went did too... then i got to not only go to kenny chesney thanks to a very good friend, but i got to sit on the lawn at foxboro stadium. it was so crazy to be down where the big guys play but so awesome. we saw uncle kracker, zac brown band, billy currington and kenny. it was a great night. and the start of my vacation. the next day, we left for new hampshire for a few days with boyfriends family. we had a blast and minus my intense fall onto the boat and skin up my entire leg and watch it turn bright blue and purple, it was a great time away. did i mention we had a hurricane? yeah... the hurricane "started" at kenny chesney. us, in ponchos. soaking wet. it seriously rained the entire time we were at the concert. no. really. the entire time. i have never felt so water logged in my life.... the rain and wind continued into sunday but luckily, we had only a few trees down and now power. the same can't be said for my parents who lost their power (again)  and a bunch more trees. way to go mother nature. thanks for the big f-you.

September 2011
High: sister gets married. big e in the rain
Low: still cleaning up from the tornado AND hurricane
after our few days away, we came home, transported the dog to another house, unpacked, repacked and headed to the cape. we spent some time at the beach, time with family and then time celebrating the wedding of sister and brother-in-law. it was a great time with friends and family. lots of dancing. a great time both that night and at breakfast the next morning. boyfriend and i also went to the big e for the first time together. it was pouring rain but we had a blast. we laughed a lot and just had a great time together. but we still had clean up to do. lots of clean up. it got so bad that i had to stop helping cut trees becuase my eyes would swell shut.. thanks allergies. way to kick in at the exact time i don't need you to. please and thank you.

October 2011
High: big e. cirque for my birthday.
Low: my birthday. a lack of power for 7.5 days. and oh, a snowstorm
october started on a high note. big e again, this time not in the rain. a great time, dispite the bazillions of people. then boyfriend got me tickets to cirque de soile for my birthday. our seats weren't great- we were on the floor which i would have thought would be great, but it was harder to see than anticipated but it was incredible. and although i'm not sure boyfriend would agree, i can't wait to see another show. and then it snowed... yes, in october. they kept saying it was going to. it had been pretty warm so we didn't really think it would but on 10/29 at like, 3:00ish, it started snowing. we were having a halloween party at work and when everyone was leaving, it started to come down, hard. i drove home and showered becuase i was covered in face makup and then went out to do some quick shopping. it was snowy and windy and gross... and then at 8pm, we lost power. that was the 29th... we stayed home that night... and the next night. but by monday [my birthday] it was about 50 degrees in our house and i couldn't hang... so we made the trek to my parents to sit by the fire, sans a flushing toilet and running water, to wait it out... some birthday...

November 2011
High: thanksgiving and staind
Low: no power.... for the first 5 days of the month. saying goodbye to our dog

i feel like i have to start with the low this month... because it is a continuation of the low of october. for the first five days of the month, we had no power. we therefor, lost all our food, both frozen and otherwise. we spent five days curled up on the couch and on a matress in front of the fireplace. everything smelled like fireplace and we couldn't do laundry. awesome. and then, just a few weeks after the snow storm, and more clean up, and more trees down, we had to say goodbye to our beloved labrador, Iggy. we found out on a monday that he had a heart problem after spending the entire weekend in and out of the doggie hospital. his appointment on monday was at 10 and by 1, we were forced to say goodbye because his condition had deteriorated so rapidly that he wouldn't have made it home with us. it sucked. it's safe to say that it really effing sucked. there was a high though... thanksgiving and the staind concert were both highs. while it was sad to be at my parents for thanksgiving without big dog [our nickname for him] we laughed, a lot. and the food was pretty damn good. then on friday, after getting my hair did, we went to mohegan to see Staind. it was a relativly short, but great show and i spent the night at sister & brother-in-laws house, to wake up saturday and celebrate thanksgiving again. also a great meal.

December 2011
and here we are....
High: christmas weekend in maine. bestie coming home. christmas weekend. concert
Low: christmas shopping. missing h's birthday.

the month started with christmas weekend with my college roommates in maine. we went up to York and in addition to some pretty amazing december weather, we had a great time relaxing, laughing, eating, drinking and looking out at the ocean [which i could spend every day doing]. early last week, my bestie came back to the east coast. i got to spend friday night, part of christmas eve morning, monday night after christmas and some time on tuesday night with her and her leading man. it was the best possible christmas gift. ever. in addition to my new pots and pans [ha ha]. christmas weekend in general was a great time. we spent christmas eve with my family and christmas day with boyfriend's family. we got to wake up on christmas morning in our own house, got to open our presents very late/very early christmas eve/christmas day and just got to spend time together. it's hard to believe this is our 5th christmas together and that boyfriend moved in 5 years ago! and this weekend, to end 2011, we are going to see Rob Thomas at Mohegan Sun. Boyfriend bought me the tickets after Iggy died... <3 you boyfriend. my low was christmas shopping. not because i don't like to give gifts, becuase i do. but i am always afraid that people won't like what we get them. oh and, the closer christmas gets, the more things i feel the need to buy. whoops. not so good on the bank account. and we missed h's birthday. she turned one this year and because they live in florida now and it was so close to christmas, we couldn't make it there. and i'm sad about that... because we have been there for all the others. but we got pictures, so that helped.

it's hard to believe that 2011 is over. the first half wasn't so bad [after reliving it via these posts] but the second half sucked harder than a vacuum. big time suckage.... here's hoping 2012 has more to offer in the high department than in the low... because there are some people who can't take much more of the low...