Coming Home (a few weeks removed)

What a long short few days. It's crazy how being away can seem like you were there forever but when you really stop to think about it, you were barely  there at all.  Overall, in only a few short days, I managed to learn a few things about LA and about myself in general.

1.  You have not experienced traffic until you have been to LA.
I mean this. I have been to Boston at rush hour during a home sox game. I have driven through NYC. This, however, is a far different experience and probably what would deter me from
moving to LA in the first place. I used to laugh when I talked to bestie and she was complaining about traffic being nuts. I've been on 495 south on a Friday afternoon. It couldn't be worse could it? It is. It is 495 south, on a Friday afternoon in mid July, all the damn time.

2.  All you THINK you know about he pacific ocean? It's a lie.
No seriously. I thought a. it is always warm and sunny in southern California and yes, I did have above 70 degree weather every day. But the ocean?! That shit is cold. And no, not Maine cold, but a lot colder than I anticipated. Yes, I still put my feet in and unfortunately, most of my pant legs with it but I also put my feet in the Atlantic, in Maine, in December. I'm tapped and I'm ok with that (perhaps a polar plunge soon?) but seriously, it's cold.

3. Everyday, YOU deserve some "me" time and that "me" time should be used.

Everyone knows you need time to yourself. it's no secret. no matter the length of time in a relationship, if you're in one or not, what your job, what your lifestyle. you need me time. and i'm not talking time to run around and do errands and pick up groceries and do things for other people but be alone in your car while you're doing it. after this trip, i know the real meaning of "me time". It consists of time doing what YOU want to do for YOU. reading, writing, curled up in a ball on the couch sipping coffee and blogging, dancing around your living room to some crazy 80's punk band. coloring in a coloring book with a pack of brand new crayola's (because seriously, what else is there?). whist in california, i had the opportunity to really take me time. when bestie had to work, i got to sit out on the porch and read, drink coffee, eat lollipops (they, much like the threaded friendship bracelet, are making a comeback). i took a lot of me time. being with my bestie was much needed me time, in and of itself. but since being home, i have made it a point to spend a few minutes every day, doing what i want to do. lately, it's been reading or coloring while drinking some hot water with lemon (another cali pick up- thanks bean). it might be 15 minutes a day, it might be an hour and 15 minutes a day and it might be 5 minutes. but i've done it, just about every day since i've been back. some days, there hasn't been time for me time because things needed to be done and for once, that was okay. i didn't feel like i HAD to do them. chances are, unless some fairy godmother cleaning squad comes flying out of the sky, the laundry that's there today, is still going to be there tomorrow and no one is going to judge me if i haven't folded it yet... and finally, i'm okay with that. we spend so much time trying to please everyone else that we forget that making everyone else happy can only happen if WE are happy... and that starts with "me" time.

4. it's okay to go away and it's okay to want to come home, and it's okay to miss the people you love in between. 

being gone from home is a strange thing when you have a routine. when you wake up next to the same person, every day, and you cook dinner each night and one of you gets the drinks while the other puts the food on plates, and you know how you'll sleep at night if one of you went to bed before the other... it's strange to leave and to go away and to not have that person, that part of your routine, with you for the time you're away. as women especially, we feel like we have to leave lists and notes and charts and that without us, things will surely fall apart. and no disrespect to men, but sometimes, you give us the impression that you don't have a clue as to what goes on each day to make things run smoothly... and then, we go away and you surprise us. it's not that i doubt boyfriend's ability to remember to take out the trash on friday mornings at the crack of dawn b/c the trash men cannot decided if they prefer to pick up the trash at 7am or at 12pm. it's not that i doubt his ability to remember to feed the dog, except that when asked, sometimes i get the impression that he goes momentarily deaf. he knows how to do a load of laundry and has never turned anything pink that wasn't supposed to be and when it comes down to it, i know he can steer the ship as well as i can... it's okay to step away, to not be in control. and it's okay to want to come home. after a period of time away, it's normal to miss the everyday life and the routine, despite creating a new routine while away. it's okay to miss your significant other, your kids (i don't have any but expect that if i did, it would be hardest to leave them) and your pets. that's OK. taking time for yourself and going away alone allows you time to reflect on all the different aspects of your life. distance really does make the heart grow fonder and sometimes, we all need a little time away to remember how good it feels to be home. 

5. i've said it before and i'll say it again... California (and probably many travel destinations) changes you... 

no hidden message here... i'm different. i didn't believe that i would be and i didn't believe it when bestie told me it would happen. it happened to her. it happened to her previous guests and it happened to me. it's not a big thing, and probably not something a lot of people would know unless you told them (ahem. spolier alert?) but it changes you. you realize that coffee tastes just as good when it costs $1 and is made the right way, that doing things you loved as a kid are great ways to spend some alone time, and putting on your favorite songs and singing at the top of your lungs at least once per day is okay. it's kind of comforting to know that you can alter small things about yourself and in turn, feel that you're closer to becoming who envision yourself to be.