While on vacation, bestie and I had some long talks about everything and nothing, some were really about nothing important or life changing and others were much more in depth and important. We got to talking about relationships, both good and bad and ultimately to talking about addictions- the transition from point a to point b is actually a much more direct route than one might expect. Ultimately, the how and why we got there are less important than some of the things that have since tuck in my mind about it.
Everyone is an addict
Long and short of it is that we are all addicts in our own right. The problem with something like addiction is that we are taught, often from a pretty young age, that addiction revolves around things that are illegal or ore wise bad for us. And in part, that is certainly true. Alcohol, marijuana, prescription drugs. These are some of the basic things we most often associate with addiction. And rightly so- these things are all around us and are in our world on an almost daily basis. And while not everyone is addicted to one of the aforementioned things, we are all addicts. Some are food addicts. Some are shopping addicts. Some get a thrill from shopping on e-bay or qvc and others from going into a store and dropping a boat load on shit they don't need. some people are addicted to keeping things and never throwing them away- yes, hoarding. Ultimately, we are all victim to an addiction. It is in our nature to have something we can't go a day without. It's not a far cry to say that as a society we have become addicted to social networking- it too is an addiction. We are addicted to cellular telephones, computers and the like. Like it or not, we are all addicts.
It's not unusual for us to deny our addictions.
True, some of these are part of a phase of our lives that may or may not stick with us, but most people deny them. I know far too many teenagers who firmly believe that they are not addicted to smoking pot. But ask them tongoma day without it, without thinking or talking or craving it- most cannot. They are addicted. And for many of these teenagers, it has taken over their lives to the capacity that they cannot see that they have in fact become the worst version of themselves. Addiction at its best. Claiming who we are capable of being and turning us into a variety of different things. Chameleons- destined to change with the people they hang out with on any given day. These people baffle me, in part because I find it hard to believe that you don't realize that you no longer have a true identity. Perhaps that is because I have never been in that situation before...
Addiction does not only affect the addict.
Truth be told it is often the addict who is least affected. Addicts often do not see the error of their ways and if they do, don't often care, or give the impression that they don't care. The people around them- family members, co-workers, teammates- they are all directly affected by the addict. It may be small things such as dropping the ball on a work project leaving your co worker to cover your ass or it may be more intense, life altering things such as car accidents or worse. In no way are those in the life of an addict sparred because they aren't the one addicted. Life becomes consumed with worry about the addict, and for the addict. Often times family members find themselves trying to solve the problems of their loved one (said addict) often to no avail. It is often not until the metaphorical rug is ripped out from underneath us that others come to the realization that there is a problem. The metaphorical rug is often a small mishap, but unfortunately can be something much more life altering.
I would like to say that I believe the first step is admitting you have a problem, and to some extent that is true. I think more importantly the first step is not a single step. It is not something that can stand on its own. It is a series of initial steps that ultimately lead to the recovery and hopefully the road to a better life. I am in no way saying you have to believe me on this but I firmly believe that the first steps to getting better are this:
Acknowledging that you have an addiction and that this is an illness.
Too often, we call it a problem but to me, a problem has a quick fix and should not continue to be a problem. A problem is a squeaky door. Hit it up with dorm WD40. Problem solved. Addiction is a much longer process and just because you are "clean" doesn't mean you don't still suffer from the effects of the addiction.
Accepting help.
I don't care who you R of what you are addicted to, everyone needs a support system. Do not shut these people out. Especially the ons holding your hand. Easier said than done but you will know who to weed out- those who promote addictive behaviors, those who do not accept you for the changes you are making to your life. Some will weed themselves out simply because they cannot stand to be around someone who isn't sharing in their addiction. Wave goodbye and don't look back.
Taking it all one day at a time.
We all know "Rome wasn't build in a day". Neither is fighting addiction. You can't do it alone and you certainly can't flip a switch. Commit to it. With the right attitude and supports in place, anything is possible.
Write it down.
Your triggers. Your thoughts. Your feelings. Your moments you want to scream at the world. Down the road, when you have a day where you feel like all hope is lost, you will have these bad days to look back on and to help you realize how far you have come.
We are all addicted to something, some of us to many things, some of us more than others. It's what we choose to do with it that makes or breaks us down....
No comments:
Post a Comment